Jai: Wife’s “great sexual chemistry” in affair conflicts with remorse over “cheating”

[This entry was initially posted to the original Red Keyhole blog on 2 April 2011.]

Breaching the Infidelity taboo (often called “cheating” or “having an affair”) by women is a rapidly growing form of alternative sexual behavior and one of the most common violations of the traditional strictures of capitalist family structure, which attempt to mandate monogamous loyalty between husband and wife (or, more loosely, other “committed” relationships like boyfriend and girlfriend).

Pilloried as “infidelity”, “betrayal”, “cheating” in capitalism’s prevalent morality system, although such behavior is surreptitious, it probably reflects more deep-seated sexual needs on the part of many women. In effect, under these moribund morality rules, such women are “cuckolding” their husbands (or boyfriends, etc.) without their knowledge. Undoubtedly, much of the cause of these rapid changes in sexual behavior and lifestyle is the dynamics of more assertive female sexuality and sexual needs.


More and more women in marital or other “committed” relationships are turning to “cheating” – i.e., a breach of capitalism’s Infidelity taboo – to fulfill their sexual needs.

An example of the circumstances and psychological-emotional dynamics involved in female “cheating” (and the increasingly more liberated and independent attitudes of women in this era) is the following excerpt from a recent posting (requesting advice) to the Loveshack online sexual discussion forum by a married woman in Texas identifying herself as “Jai”.

This case highlights the psychological and emotional stress involved in this alternative sexual behavior, particularly as the woman’s sexual enjoyment of the relationship conflicts with feelings that she’s a “lying cheater”. Full sexual liberation (achievable through socialist revolution) will someday eliminate the moral prison that creates such conflictive stresses.

The original narrative (posted here for its research interest and educational value) has been somewhat edited for to correct orthography and improve readability. Original language and dialect have been retained as much as possible.

Question

Great sex … but I’m married … Great friend, too

So about 6 years ago I met this friend who had a thing for me … We would flirt, but it was never rubbing or kissing, just compliments and giggles …

A year later, I was married and pregnant … A year after that, he was married and going to be a father … Throughout this time, we kept [in] constant contact, and the mild flirting became outward discussions of whether or not we would cheat on our spouses.

About 3 months ago I moved back to Texas from New York to get away from my mother-in-law (my husband stayed, since he has a contract). I caught up with my friend, and now he is divorced but dating someone…

Since I now have “freedom” to do whatever I please, I began having an affair with my friend. So far, everything is going smoothly, except the battle with my conscience … I want to have my cake and eat it too, but right now my cake isn’t all that awesome, because I’m now a lying cheater … and I feel guilty after, but not during …

I can’t leave him alone, and he can’t either … but I don’t want to be with him, we just have great sexual chemistry … Any outside view/opinion is welcome…