Genetic sexual attraction: Two consensual incestuous sexual affairs involving issues of infidelity, family and marital stress, child custody

Some incestuous relationships can be extremely passionate, and this may be attributable to genetic sexual attraction (GSA), whereby close blood relatives are strongly attracted to each other because of their inherent genetic similarities.

The following personal narratives – excerpted from an exchange of postings by two different women to a GSA discussion forum in early 2004, and posted here for educational purposes – are particularly interesting because they invoke a number of additional issues and taboos. They also illustrate the dilemma of individuals, especially women, engaging in adult incest with marital and child custody aspects involved, in the context of a society intensely hostile to both infidelity and incest.

In both cases, the women apparently are involved in incestuous sexual affairs with close blood relatives – one with her half-brother, the other with her father. Because both women are married, the Infidelity taboo is also breached, and a fusillade of emotional, family, and social stresses is unleashed, including the threat of separation from children. These issues themselves highlight the agony and emotional anguish imposed on individuals by capitalism’s Family Values moral and legal straitjacket, designed to reinforce the core officially blessed monogamous family unit that is the fundamental social-economic unit of the capitalist system.

Another issue raised in these two cases is polyamory, a liberating mode of alternative sexual lifestyle that represents particular advancement in women’s rights (i.e., women, aren’t locked into stultifying monogamous relationships, and have freedom to have parallel relationships with other partners). (See Polyamory: Popularity, benefits, issues, challenges and Alternative sexual lifestyles: Understanding different approaches.) However, polyamory depends on mutual consent, including that of the other partner in the marriage or “commited” couple relationship, and such consent is clearly not on the table in these two cases.

The excerpts below include an initial posting from a married woman identifying herself as “Troubled” (involved in an incestuous affair with her half-brother) that elicits a response from another married woman, “Suzanna” (involved in an incestuous affair with her father). Note that, as is common practice, “GSA” is used as a synonym (or euphemism) for the attraction, the behavior, and the incestuous sexual activity itself. The original postings have been slightly edited for orthography and readability, but original language has been retained as much as possible.

[“Troubled”]

What if it’s too late to deny?

So what if your GSA crosses the line?

Today is the first time I have ever seen anything on this GSA thing. I am glad that I am not alone, but most of what I have read talks about seeking counseling before things go too far.

Well, things have gone too far, and they have been that way for almost two years now. I can’t imagine my life without him.

But I’m losing my children over it. I’m going through a divorce now, and am being told that I am unfit because I fell in love with a sibling.

The fact that I never knew him doesn’t matter, the fact that I have two other half-sibling males that I never felt any weird attraction for doesn’t matter … I am a deviant, a pervert, and unfit to be with the children that I carried, bore, and nurtured until the tender ages of 6,4, and 3, when my estranged husband packed up our home and took off with my children within 12 hours on Jan. 26th of 2004. We are both totally devastated and don’t know what to do.

Give some advice if you have any, anyone.

Troubled

[“Suzanna”]

It’s never too late

Being in a similar situation myself, I would love to be able to offer you some kind of advice that would help fix your situation because I don’t want you to lose your children over this. You should be able to keep your children and also be with the man you love.

There should be no shame in loving another person, even if that person is related to you by blood. I am married and I have two kids, ages 6 & 8. My birthfather and I have been having a GSA relationship for about a year now. Our relationship turned sexual almost immediately after our first face-to-face meeting.


Genetic sexual attraction (GSA) can draw an adult daughter and her father into an erotic incestuous relationship, even if they’ve been separated for a significant period of time.

Last June we had a close call in which my husband saw a letter in which I wrote of my sexual feelings for my father. My husband confronted me about what was ‘going on’ between me and my father. I lied and told him nothing happened between us and that I was completely over those feelings, and I explained to him that it was just a one-time thing that happens sometimes to people who reunite. My husband accepted my explanation and hasn’t brought it up since.

My father and I see each other regularly, but my husband does not know we are involved romantically. He just thinks we have a very close bond. In the meantime, I’ve been completely devoted to my husband, and my father and I are very careful to keep our feelings for each other private. At this time we are only able to spend one night a week together.

My husband is a good man, and he’s been very tolerant & understanding about all this, but I am simply not in love with him anymore. I’m in love with my father, and he is the man I want to be with, but we know we can never be together as a couple publicly because everyone knows he is my father, and society does not accept these kinds of relationships.

My father’s biggest concern right now is that someone might find out about us, and my husband might not be so understanding and would leave me and try to take the kids away from me.

I’m fully committed to my children and to my Christian faith, and I know in some ways I’m living a lie, but I don’t know what I would do if I were to face losing my family over this. Just because I fell in love with a man who just happens to be my biological father, I have to hide my true feelings or risk losing everything.

I hope you will stay strong and keep a clear head so you won’t lose your kids over this. It’s only been a couple of weeks since your husband left, so maybe it’s not too late.

My advice to you is to reconcile with your husband, even if you don’t mean it. Tell him it’s over between you and your half-brother, and tell him that you want to be with him and the kids. Then you will have to prove it by not seeing your brother for a while.

Once you have earned back your husband’s trust, you can continue seeing your brother, secretly, until you both decide what to do. But whatever you do, you have to make sure your husband does not suspect anything. Make sure you keep your relationship with your brother a secret.

I know it doesn’t seem fair, but our society simply won’t accept these types of relationships. I’ve read the stories of those people who have tried having these relationships out in the open, and for most of them the consequences were disastrous. Sadly, like the rest of us involved in these ‘unique’ relationships, you and your brother will have to keep your relationship in the closet or else risk losing everything.

I hope this helps. Remember, you are not alone, and there are so many others like you. You are not a pervert or a deviant, you just fell in love. I really hope everything works out for you.

Suzanna